Makes me cry everytime

My sister Amee loved Jason Aldean. So, naturally, when I heard this song on his new album I BAWLED. I have so many regrets when it comes to my sister. I always had the hope of one day being close to her again. She is 6 years older than me and like any little sister does, I thought she was amazing. She was so fun and at the same time she was so organized and a GREAT MOM (she had her first baby at 18). I loved being around her. I really did. Then, as things changed and certain decisions were made, I had to make the decision to back away but knowing that one day it would go back to how it was. I just didnt realize at the time that "one day" would mean after death. I know we will get that relationship back one day just like I thought I just hate that I waited so long. I chose to miss out on her for more years than I want to admit. I missed having her in my life and my boys life. It was a tough decision and one that at the time seemed so right but now was so wrong. If I only knew then. I'm having a rough go of it lately. Lots of things are reminding me of her. I was walking by a patients room the other day and I heard a voice coming from it that sounded EXACTLY like her. I found an excuse to pull the curtain open a little just to see. DUMB. Of course it wasn't her, but I wanted to see who the person was. I got a video camera from my in-laws and Chad and I have been playing around with it. I was looking back at the videos and in one I SOUNDED JUST LIKE HER and even LOOKED LIKE HER. It made me smile; but, I havent been able to watch it again. Weird how the Christmas right after was easier and this one isn't (I can't believe its been about a year and a half now). I miss the Amee I knew in my heart and I miss the relationship that could be now. One day. One day. I love her and I know she loves me and she loves my boys. 

I can't wait to have a relationship with her again. 

And, all the luckier,

 it will be a perfect relationship because it will be in the most perfect place and perfect time.

Until we meet in another place and time...

Family Pictures

FAVORITE OF JETT

FAVORITE OF KALEB

The talented Kellie Hales took our pictures. And, as Romero luck would have it, we picked a FREEZING cold day and my kids (and Chad) weren't too thrilled. Well, everyone did better than I thought. As shown, a couple melt downs and refusals to cooperate happened, but that's what you get for doing it in the freezing cold winter. We will try again in the spring time. Thanks Kellie!!! (P.S. I really recommend having Kellie take your pictures. She does a REALLY GOOD JOB and was so easy going even when my boys weren't thrilled. We are extremely happy! Message me and I will get you her contact information)

Exactly why I try not to blog stalk too often...

Thanksgiving Pics, Kaleb's funny face and Walmart Santa

 I was horrible at getting pictures on Thanksgiving. All the pics I have are us playing outside and few of us in side. No eating or nothing. BORING!!! 

 This is his face whenever he does something he thinks is neat or if he is going to get in trouble. Its my favorite.

 Santa was at our Walmart and they let you take pictures of them for free. Kaleb didnt know what to think and Jett was excited despite his enthusiastic face in this picture. He really was. 

 We couldnt get a good one with Baby Cakes...

{RANDOMNESS}

 This kid loves pop. I'm the worst mom. As a one-year-old he shouldn't even know the stuff exists, but with Chad as his dad it's inevitable. 

 Jett wanted to be gross at the dinner table and stick his tongue out with food on it but he forgot something. He said "mom, let me swallow and then I'll show you." hahaha, he is such a nerd. 

Supposedly there is ghost in Jett's room so he now wants to sleep with me and Chad. After a couple nights of no sleep we decided he could sleep in his tent in the front room. THANKFULLY, last night we successfully got him back in his own bed.  

I just thought this was cute.  

 Jett had his first parent day at school. The kids were to sing the songs they learned and recite poems and other things. no surprise that Jett was too big of a turd to participate. Ms. Evans told me that he is one of the smartest and easiest kids in the class and that it was probably just my presence that made him be a stinker..UMM, Thanks! But, she's right. He acts up when I'm around. Next time, I will just peek through the window. :)

Changed it up...

So, if you like reading our blog (anoyone? anyone?) I changed our blogger address. Please update your blog lists to...

ourjourneyinposts.blogspot.com

I wanted to get our last name off the blog completely so people dont know it if they happen across our blog. If you have our full name on your blog list, thats completely fine. If someone knows you, thats good enough for me. I just dont want randoms knowing it. 

SO UPDATE IT IF YOU CARE TO KEEP READING MY RAMBLES 

A cow says MOO

The other day I was driving down the road. Jett was complaining that I wouldn't let him take the iPad with him in the car (remember when we thought it was so cool that people could take phones with them, and now they want to take computers too?). Kaleb was whining. Not crying, but whining. LOUDLY. I turned on my road feeling relieved we were almost home. As luck (and I can now say FATE) would have it, there was a back-up because of the power company doing something or  the other. So, I sat with Jett complaining and Kaleb whining. I was having a stressful day. Just the usual. Family, bills, work and kids. In that moment, I felt defeated. Shamefully, I  thought "Why me? Surely this doesnt happen to other people. Why is my life so insane and stressful. I cant wait for something different to happen to make my life easier." Honestly, I thought that. Stupid. But, I did.

As I sat fighting my tears listening to my boys go crazy, I glanced out the window and saw this cow standing in a grass filled pasture. She (I say she because only a woman would be this stubborn) was sticking her tongue out, stretching for a leaf on a tree that was on the other side of the fence. Seriously, her tongue was stretched to the max with he head rooting around trying to reach this little leaf. I kind of scoffed and said out loud, "keep stretching honey, it's not gonna happen." Then, it hit me.

I AM THE STUBBORN COW

She was standing in the middle of grass and yet she wanted a leaf that she couldn't get right then. In a couple of weeks or even days the leaf will fall and be on her level to reach. Im doing the same thing. I have what I need right now. I have a handsome, funny, smart and hardworking husband who loves me (despite the fact I act like a stubborn cow half the time). I have TWO beautiful boys who love me and make me smile more than frown. I have a roof over my head. I have a job. I have a car to get me to and fro. I have health insurance. I have an extended family who keep me on my toes and laughing. I am able to take my children to do fun things. I'm not rich, but I have enough. But, I keep reaching for things that aren't mine for the having just yet. I just need to be a little more patient and take in what I have for now. I need to stop rushing things. In time, all those things I think will make my life easier/better will be mine and I will have new things to long for (isn't that how it always goes?) So, from now on, I'M GOING TO EAT THE DARN GRASS!!!! 

{Hair cut and Halloween}

 Just a cute pic of Jetterbug

 Baby Cakes got a haircut. I fought Chad on the subject. I wasnt ready for that step. He is my baby, not my big boy who gets haircuts. But, I decided to let Chad have a win and we took him. Chad was getting one that day so I decided Kaleb could too. 

 Long Baby Hair

 Such a doll getting it done. He just sat there and the stylist was a sweetheart. She was pretty much crying with me. She kept saying "oh, he looks so old now!"

 Enjoy the rewards of being a good boy. He loves dumb dumbs!!!

 HALLOWEEN

Easton (Chad's sister little cutie) was a pirate. Jetterbug was Thomas the Train and Baby Cakes was an alligator (or a dragon/dinosaur, we have a debate going on!) Chad and I dressed up as an Elderly Couple for the family halloween party. Chad won the prize. He was eerily good at being an old man. I have to say, he is going to look good when we are old. Love him!!! I didnt get any pictures but my sil did so I will get them from her. 

 Loved Loved LOVED when he crawled. His tail would go back on forth :)

 He is one good looking kid. He is so cute and funny. He makes for a good time. 

 Chad's dad dressed up as a cool hippy. He is such a good grandpa! 

 Chad's mom and the ALLIGATOR

 HIS SCORE! We only went down one street and back up the other side. Chad cant wait for next year because he is going to take both boys all around. Easton and Kaleb werent feeling it, so we went home. They had plenty and Jett LOVED it. He would've went all night. We did take him back out later around Chad's boss' neighborhood. 

I am in love with my family!